I'll still be a year older...might as well be better

I have finally learned not to say "what's the use?" and to stop mourning how late in life I am getting started on doing things which I wanted when I was younger...which my husband's death interrupted...which "life" pushed me away from.

It doesn't matter where I am in life in age, if I push against the tide of ease and work to improve myself, next year at this time I will be more satisfied with the state of my affairs than I would if I just bumped along going where the wind blows.

This is kind of a stream of consciousness but important to me because I need to "dream" about improvement again in the upcoming year. This is a reflection on last year and a precursor to writing up a fabulous dream about next year.

2007 came and went with good progress. I am uh "stoked" friends! I am empowered by my ability to change. Middle age has hit and I am more energetic and optimistic than I have been in my entire life. I can do this!

25 more pounds off by May:
I set a goal to lose a total of 70 pounds in 2007. I am almost there. I have about 25 more to lose. May is the magic month to finish that up. There's a party I want to look good for so that's the dream I will harness to get me there.

Get rid of the storage unit:
I have a goal to discontinue having a storage unit this year and pocket that $50 a month. Will do. Let's say I will finish that task by May. Started the action list on that yesterday.

Improved Salary and Business Reputation:
-Once I reach my weight goals I want to re-do my wardrobe to become more polished and business-like. Yesterday I bought a great pin-stripe suit on clearance for a total of $36.00 (!) which will take me into the spring along with another navy blue and green suit I purchased to take on the cruise which will do likewise. I will get out my sewing machine and take up the slacks of both as they get too large. I expect that to happen by late February. (Now that I am closer to my goal, sizes decrease faster!)

-Another goal I had was to never arrive at work later than 30 minutes before the day started. Such effort and attitude garnered me $7,000 in bonuses last year. Seriously. The man who hired me in September of '06 (when I was at 206 and in 18Ws/20Ws) sees a middle-aged employee who may be a little bit slow on the uptake but who will work all the extra hours necessary to get the job done. I was ill on the clock exactly 2.5 hours. I missed three days when my daddy died, but it's likely that my extra arrival times gave back my employer every missed hour plus some over the past year. My weight loss has also proven that I am a "can do" person who can achieve goals and make changes for improvement.

More friends:
Another goal was to become active in a church. Check, done. I go to church every Sunday including Sunday School where I have made good friends and have a wonderful support system. My son will be taking a job with Exxon when he finishes his grad degree. I have no family in this area and only lived here in this town to get him through college. He is leaving. I'm staying.

More gratitude in my attitude:
Another goal was to say "thank you" to the many people who have helped me become a better me. Waking up each day and thinking about who has helped me along this path gives me a great outlook. It's humbling...it's inspiring.

I will take these goals, improve the focus of them and add a few to my list.

Gotta hit that hot shower right now. Can't be late to work!

Love and gratitude from Willa in Texas to every person who pauses to read this blog!

Dream and be thin...

I know people think I am crazy for saying that you can dream your way to being thin.

However, I challenge anyone who desires to make a significant change in their life to make a real, daily, long-lasting effort at dreaming of what you desire and see if it doesn't have some positive influence on your life.

How to do it.

Here is the short version:

Determine to spend ten to thirty minutes for each and every day for a span of 60 days with "thin" in your mind.

Here is the longer version:

Sit down in front of your computer at the same time every day and open a document you can type paragraphs into. I prefer MS Word, but there is a free word processing program located at StarOffice.

Type the date. Aw heck, I'll just show you how to do it.

January 15, 2008
I'm just waking up and it's time to face the day. Before my feet hit the floor I like to consider what I'll be wearing to work. I am going to choose the black linen suit today. It The jacket has three quarter length sleeves and the pants zip on the side. The zipper slides up effortlessly when I put it on.

Underneath the jacket I will wear a raw silk creamy pink sleeveless scoop neck top. It zips on the side. I feel pleased because my arms look nice before I put on the jacket. I can see the slacks and matching jacket both have tags in them which say "Talbot's" and beneath that is a little red number six. I'll put on a pair of pantihose which are fresh out of the wrapper. Hanes. Size A. I see the size written on the package. The hose are black. I feel extremely happy because I know these will glide on with little or no effort. I am so empowered by the feeling of control over my body. I have made healthy choices minute by minute, hour by hour to create the new me.

I will wear my favorite leather black pumps. The ones that show "toe cleavage".

My hair is in a shorter, stylish cut. Now that I am thin my face it angular and any style looks good on me.

I don't feel my age, I feel energetic and younger. I can't wait to get up and get dressed. Today will be a wonderful day!

Being thin makes me feel empowered, it makes me tingle with energy. It gives me a feeling of "everything I want is possible."

=======

Another day I might dream about wearing shorts for the first time in years. Another day I might dream about doing things that I normally wouldn't because the effort was just too much with all the extra weight. Another dream might be about being involved in an athletic activity.

Don't laugh at this dreaming technique until you've done it with a full-hearted effort for 60 days. You will find yourself seeking ways to do little things to change your health and weight.

Beware. Once you begin to dream you will find yourself pushing your own limits to reach the goals you desire!

A parting thought. If you are overweight, you might have lost your dreams in the folds of your XXXL wardrobe...depression might have robbed you of your willingness to dream. Whatever the case, take back the power of dreaming about what you desire. A dream costs nothing. If you can make yourself dream of the change you desire you will slowly build the kind of mental muscles you need to redesign your eating. Making time to dream will not come easily...but if you can make yourself into a dreamer by changing the habit of being a non-dreamer into being a dreamer you are exercising the mental muscles which will create willpower and better decision making.

Try it...for 60 days...write it, think it...love the feelings you enjoy while you are dreaming and then slowly create methods to change into what you dream about.

Oh yeah...one more thing...have a lot of love for yourself while you dream...don't put yourself down, build yourself up and cheer yourself on.

Take good care of yourself in your dreams...pretty soon you'll start living the love...and things will change for you.

Let my words be low carb treats, not sweets

Lord, today, let my words be like low carb treats which make me healthy and move me toward my goal. Let them not be like the sugary-sweet, fake, unhealthy, over-processed trash which makes my body less than it should be.

I pray this because I often have to eat my words...I prefer them to be healthy for my mind, soul, and body if they need to be taken in a second time.

Amen.

Kimmer Annoys Me

So what else is new? Heidi Diaz, aka "Kimmer" did something that flies in the face of my theory that if you put your mind on something long enough pretty soon your thoughts will motivate you to that goal. Every day for years she was sitting at her computer typing up instructions to people about how to be thinner while she herself wasn't moved at all by her words.

Since I truly believe that what one dwells on mentally results in changed behavior and motivation to seek the images held in one's mind, her (Kimmer's) behavior and what it manifested makes me believe that her goal was never to be thin or to help others be thin but to make money, large money, at any cost.

Aside from her big lie and her big scam on people (which is plenty to be annoyed with her for!), I am mad because she wrote about being thin and succeeding at eating a certain way to be thin while apparently munching on any and everything that didn't munch on her first. How dual-minded is that?

So, among her many transgressions which pointedly ruined the health of others I find her dual-minded behavior one of the many among dispicable behaviors which pricks me personally.

If my theory on visioning and dreaming until you reach your reality is correct, her reality makes me believe that she never had her heart and mind in the right place while she wrote and tutored and cajoled, criticized and, cough, cough, ahem, "encouraged" others to eat to achieve thinness. I believe what a person thinks is what they ultimately achieved...and so to me, I see a crafty, mean woman who just wanted to lift money from desperate people at any cost to them.

Clearly, this woman focused her mind on succeeding at something and it wasn't weight loss. It was focused on scamming people who had weight problems. And, for this morning that's all I am going to say about it because my personal dreaming and driving to a goal doesn't have time for that poop head's behavior.

I don't have a passion for the demise of Scamkins. I want to see her and her scams gone from the internet but my passion is to reach my own goals. So, I salute you, anti-kimmer bloggers! I am thankful for those who have more mental energy than I to write tirelessly to remove this dual-minded, spiteful woman's presence from the internet but I don't think about it with the passion that they do. My passion is to encourage first myself to achieve my weight-loss goals, then by proving my point, to encourage others.

So, though I don't blog about KK or Kimmer daily, just be aware that I despise the way this woman has used her gift of mind focus to prey upon others and I'm only going to mention it on occasion. Her downfall will not move me away from my path...a path to health, but God bless those of you who can both focus on your own goals and removing her from the 'net.

It's time to hit the shower and get ready for another successful day wherein I will change my own destiny by knowing what I seek and moving forward to it...an inch at a time. Baby steps will get me there.

Have a good day everyone. Willa Smith reporting from Texas.

PS: If you want to read more about the lies of Scammer, please visit the following blogs:


3 Fat Chicks: Anatomy of a Diet Scam
About.com Inside Kimkins
Anti-Kimkins
Kimkins Controversy
Kimkins Dangers
Kimkins Exposed
Kimkins Sucks
Kimkins Survivors
Kimorexia
KKatastrophe - KimPossible's Blog
Livin' La Vida Low-Carb
Low Carb Discussion
Pretty Paula's Journey
Slamboard - Kimkins Diet
The Final Escape - EtheralKim's Blog
The Journey - Christin's Blog
The Open Bench - Deni's Blog
Winning Weight Loss - Becky's Blog

Back From the Cruise

I am posting a picture of me and my daughter-in-law, here. My son took this picture on our second night on the trip.

So, while on this wonderful trip of culinary delights how did I do on on my low carb lifestyle? I did pretty good. Only gained one pound which is probably more fluid retention than anything.

I did have a few cheats on the days when we were off the boat in Tulum looking at the Mayan ruins and while we were on shore in Belize. While it would have probably been fine to eat meaty foods in those ports I didn't feel comfortable with it and opted one day to select a piece of pound cake and a cookie; another day I chose to eat nachos. I also drank a few apple martinis (not all at one time!).

But, here's the thing...I found that I desired to continue low carb eating and working on my goals more than I desired to eat sweets. The last night I went to dinner alone by choice. I had vegetable broth and greens because that was the only thing that appealed to me.

It's all in what you WANT for your life. I want a healthy body...a body that allows me to walk for miles without huffing and puffing--which I did on my cruise. I want to feel youthful, to have skin on my legs which isn't dry and cracking from daily sugar overload. I want to be able to tie my shoes without effort, to clean my house without having to take numerous breaks. I want to feel good about myself.

I want to feel in control of my choices and not to be driven by addiction to a momentary pleasure derived from tasting something sweet, or starchy. I want to comfort myself rather than to be comforted by foods.

It felt wonderful to come back to my desk at the office with a little bit of a tan, and not feeling a "too snug" feeling around my waist, or a too-full feeling in my hands and feet puffed up by intake of too much toxic sugar.

I looked in the mirror when I came home and loved what I saw. Each day I look a little more like that "vision" I captured for myself back in February 2007.

Life is what you make it. When I began my low carb journey I had a pretty bleak outlook on things. Since I have captured the menace of food overload I have gained energy, vitality, and a will to live a fuller life than I had. I'm doing it.

50 pounds gone, friends. I want to lose 20 more. I will. Mid-May is my next goal post. My son will graduate from the university he attends with a master's degree in May. (I never finished my under grad degree so this is huge for me!) I look forward to the vision I have when I greet our guests for the after-party. I will be two sizes smaller from my current size 12 status. I will have slightly longer hair...streaks of gray I embrace rather than cover up. I will have a slight tan and glow with health, and I will be almost 50 years old and more vibrant than I have ever been in my life. And, more than anything I will know the lesson I have taught my son by example on that special day. It's never too late to realize personal goals, to improve yourself, to find ways to enjoy life more fully. He'll never forget that on that special day two years earlier his mother nearly waddled up to her seat at his wedding but realizing the error of her ways she corrected it and chose life. If I can do that with so little to work with, he'll know he can do anything he chooses with so much to work with and so many opportunities that his education has opened up for him.

(Here is a picture of that boy I am so proud of.)

Now, I realize that this might sound like it is all about me, but it is not. Early on my son expressed his concern about my weight and whether or not I'd be around and feel like being a good grandmother to his children. He dredded taking care of a fat, depressed, aging parent. Realizing that my penchant for ice cream and cake was killing me and killing his hope for part of the happiness of his own future was another reason for me to care about my own life and goals.

Refusal to embrace weight loss and healthy body maintenance can overshadow the lives of our children. Refusal to take control of our own destinies can be a burden to those we love.

Grab a vision and make it happen...even while crusing the Caribbean. Nothing, nothing, nothing tastes as good as successfully re-creating a thinner life feels. Nothing!

Pausing to Thank You

Thanks to those of you who read this blog.

I appreciate every comment posted on it. (If there is an email where I can write the comment-maker back, I do.) Many thanks again.

Dream a little thin dream of me....

There's no way I can pretend this all happened by diet alone.

I had to get my mind right. Saying "I need to lose weight." told myself exactly that--that I was fat. And, fat I remained as long as I took that attitude.

The Bible says that the tongue has the power of life and death. (Proverbs 18:21) It wasn't until I harnessed the power of my tongue that I became fertile for the change enabled through weight loss.

I started a private journal many months ago where I wrote descriptive paragraphs about how my appearance was changing. As I wrote, I put my mind into the experience of feeling slim, looking slim and the sense of well-being I would gain by making a transformation. (Shucks, I tried to post a picture of a page, but it turned out all blurry.)

I wrote about how if I could lose weight, I could do anything.

I wrote about wearing a size six, wearing a certain type of top to go with a certain type of pants.

I wrote about walking long ways with my dog and feeling the power of change.

I wrote about being successful at my endeavors. I did it daily.

I prayed while I wrote and I wrote while I prayed to God to give me the wisdom and strength of the power of a positive tongue and words.

The more I wrote, the more my subconscious mind took over and I was empowered to eat less, seek support through forums and to find healthy solutions to change my life.

That was last February (2/07). I joined an email support group of individuals who also needed to lose. My journaling and dreaming slipped off as I began to write some of these things to them. My last entry into my journal is in October of 2007. By that time I had a powerful momentum built up and was full steam ahead in positive thinking, positive writing and posting images of myself. And, then there was this blog where I began to share things I thought would (1) help others and (2) continue to enhance my own experience.

Through it all there were two keys:
-Constant thinking about success and
-Positive imaging through words of how I would look at the end of my journey.

If reducing your weight has not been a successful endeavor for you, I would encourage you to stop thinking about dieting and start thinking about how you will look when you are thin.

Experience it through taking time to dream and express what successful weight loss will mean to you.

So far I have lost a solid fifty pounds. Possibly more. Once I instilled an image in my mind of where I was going, there was no stopping me. It took several months of weight reduction behaviors to see results in my clothing size and in the mirror. I am short and the weight loss was very slow.

Somewhere around the ninth month I began to see the success I had desired. I never stopped my thinking, healthy choosing and knowing that soon enough the difference would unfold.

If you can't get yourself into eating less or eating better right now, start dreaming...dream and dream and dream about being slim, healthy and energetic.

Tell yourself "I am going to be so healthy next year at this time. I am getting healthier by the day."

Say, "I will wear white shorts with a red top that shows my arms--they look great! I will have tanned legs, I will have bright red toenail polish on my toenails and enjoy wearing a size eight."

Feel it, feel it, it while you are writing.

Say, "I am so empowered by using my words to reach the success I wholeheartedly desire." (And feel it. Say it out loud.)

Say, "If I can lose weight, I can do anything I want to do." (And feel it.)

Dreaming is a process that you develop. If you are overweight, your dreams may have all gotten lost in the Zinger wrappers and ice cream cartons tossed in the garbage. Mine did. Make new dreams and write them down.

Do it daily. Protect your journaling and dreaming time. Soak it up. Follow the subtle hints of your mind when you dream. You'll find yourself rejecting improper food mentally...act on it. Reject it. Let your dreams send you to purchase an Atkins book, or to join Weight Watchers. Let your dreams motivate you to purchase exercise memberships...or just a pair of good shoes to walk in every day.

I'm dreaming a dream right now...that these words will empower you to be who you want to be.

Write, write and dream, dream. Feel the feelings of a thinner you...until you are on your way.