Willa's Notebook

So they call it the "Flatbelly Diet" - I call it Low Carb

2008-01-20T22:41:00.000-08:00

There's an interesting article in Prevention Magazine this month.

It is called the "Flatbelly Diet". I happend to pick up the magazine in the grocery store on Saturday but you can read it here.

Daily staples on the diet are pretty much the same as mine...well, except for the chocolate...I eat that sparingly:

1. Avocados
2. Olives
3. Nuts and seeds
4. Chocolate
5. Oils

I love Prevention Magazine, but it's definitely always been biased against true low/no carb diets, from what I recall.

O'course you and I all know that Prevention can't double cross Weight Watchers (one of their biggest advertisers) and say, "Hey, that old man Atkins wasn't so far off after all with his low carb WOE! Sweets and starches won't cut it for everyone. Low carbohydrate eating shows excellent results. Up with Atkins!"

If you read their article on the Flatbelly Diet you'll see women saying that when they eat the recipes provided by Prevention for this diet that they aren't hungry (um, ketosis? satiety?)...that they feel more satisfied after eating this way. (We low carb dieters already knew that.) Upon a closer look you will find that almost all of their recipes also happen to be low carb meals and healthy by the low carber's standards.

Imagine that. High fat foods, low carb foods are killing hunger!

Prevention also claims that this diet is causing women to lose weight with fairly fast results. Better yet they are losing it especially around their middles, hence the name, "The Flatbelly Diet".

The type of fat that Prevention is promoting in this diet by recommending the foods in the above list is MUFA (also known as monounsaturated fatty acids). MUFA is purported to help attack problems women have when they age and grow their menopausal spare tire. (Well, heck yeah! If a middle aged woman cuts carbs way back and eats good food rich in monounsaturated fatty acids miracles happen!)

'Scuse me Prevention Magazine! That's not news to low carbers and the Atkins followers. Just one of many Atkins MUFA-related articles appears here: http://www.atkins.com/research-library/research-items/anresearchitem.2005-09-26.4871641671

Looking at the MUFA power food list I have to comment that during my 50 pound weight loss journey (only 20 more to lose!) this isn't news to me.

* I have at least one , maybe two, whole avocados a week.
* Almost every day I eat at least ten to twenty olives in my salad, diced up on top of my ground sirloin, or straight out of the jar.
* Low carb fans already know that nuts such as almonds, pecans, walnuts, and even peanuts are a great treat on the breakfast plate or in your desk drawer for an afternoon snack. They are one of my staples.
* We know as long as we have UNsweetened chocolate (no sugar)we aren't messing up. We just have to eat the chocolate without sweetener or add a non-sugar substitute to the recipe.
* We cook with olive oil and other healthy types all the time!

So now I say "Man up" Prevention Magazine. Admit it! You know this is really a high fat, low carb diet which shuns simple carbs readily accepted by Weight Watchers. You can call it The Flatbelly Diet if you want to, but a rose by any other name.. and all that jazz. (Oh yeah, and we know that chocolate and banana thing you mentioned in the article is just a cover so Weight Watchers won't start cryin'.)

All I'm sayin' is this isn't a revolutionary discovery...Dr. Atkins knew this years ago.

The Inflammatory Way of the Media

2008-01-17T21:15:00.000-08:00

I get frustrated with the media for their inflammatory way of presenting things so that it scares the pants off of less critical thinking people, for their targeting the senior citizens eating their tomato soup and tuna sandwiches while watching the news at noon.

The other day my own dear Mother Smith got mad at me because of a horror story from the news. "They said on the news today that the government is letting our social security numbers out. They [note: whoever the heck "they" is] found Colin Powell's social security number! It's rampant!"

Now, understand the insinuation by mainstream media in this particular case is that the dastardly Dubya and his minions are the root of all evil and are letting your SS numbers "out there". (See http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2008/01/02/government_websites_yield_personal_data/ for a sample.)

The reality is that local county governments have taken property records online and are still not completely error proof in redacting social security numbers from days gone by when ID theft wasn't rampant...and, it's a bad thing...I don't disagree with that. In fact, I feel that property records should not be online...only the index of the records. I feel that anyone who looks at property records should be required to be registered with the county by proper ID so that abstractors can go about their abstracting business book by book...not so that anyone can peruse the records on a whim.

However, the way it is presented all Mother Smith hears is "The world is going to hell in a handbasket and I better go to the bank and get all my money and bury it in the back yard."

Mother Smith was gravely disappointed when I explained how the numbers came to be online.

Somehow I think my mother must have enjoyed ghost tales when she was a child...there's just something kind of exciting about being scared out of your wits.

This Weekend's To Do List:

2008-01-17T19:46:00.000-08:00

Update: Jan. 21 - this list has moved over to my other blog.

1-Finish unpacking my suitcase from last weekend's end of my vacation.
2-Clean up my car.
3-Make real progress on getting all the window treatments replaced in my house.
4-Organize my closet...for real this time.
5-Finish my taxes.
6-Do the regular chores.
7-Balance my checkbook.
8-Get rid of the excess crap in my makeup basket.
9-Finish the HOA minutes.
10-Work on my budget.
11-Buy more thank you notes.
12-Have coffee at Starbuck's at least once.
13-Groom at least one dog.
14-Make a Master List of All the Things I need to do (and move some of these things onto it).
15-Work on the website I am currently engaged in.
16-Dream at least three times about things that are important for me to achieve.

I'll keep you guys posted!

The People Who Hang On to KK

2008-01-17T18:44:00.000-08:00

The buzz is that the finger-licking-burger-smacking lying liar known as Kimmer will be exposed on national tv. This from the blog known as "Pinch of..."

Will even this national exposure by a network contender be enough? (See 2Big4MySize's Weblog.)

Let me tell you about a few folks I know who are still h*ll bent for Monday on sticking with that site...I'd like to know why you think this is happening.

--My email friend in Florida has lost 61 pounds. She is an active poster at the site of Scammer Diaz. She's a good person, she is a smart woman. She hasn't been sick...but she's not been doing KK as written. I love this gal...thank goodness she's got some sense! She's really doing Atkins, hallelujah...but she hangs on to that site because she's desperate to lose another 60 pounds and finds the forum to be great support.

--My email friend in North Carolina is a KK devotee. She's a smart woman, she owns her own business and yet she parrots the KK poop like it is the gospel. It's probably the nightly wine and buttered bread she cannot say no from time to time that keeps her well.

--Another gal is from Ohio...a friend...she quotes KK chapter and verse. Ms. Ohio owns the yahoo group I belong to - - it is a private email support group based on KK. We came together years ago on another forum. We have been colleagues of sorts for a good while. It was through Ms. North Carolina I heard about KK. The day that the news broke with Hidey's pictures on Slamboard.com I delivered the news to them. I was immediately warned not to say anything further negative because it wasn't helpful.

None of these women are ill (yet). And, the reason they aren't (yet) in my opinion is because they cheat ... a lot. They go off the diet and have wine, bread, chips, etc. I don't worry about them much any more. They aren't holding fast to the diet. For them, it is a means to an end. I think that means they'll eventually go back to their old way of eating. In reality, these woman are actually losing because they are on a low calorie diet. They are eating less than they used to.

[I haven't cheated on Atkins intermittently. (Check my cruise posts to know when I did go off the plan for the first time in months and why.) I don't intend to go back to eating my old way. It's not a means to the end. It is a way of life. It is permanent.]

Getting back to the subject, the thing is that I don't understand my friends. I do NOT understand why they will continue to be a party to a lying scamming liar's success. Before I educated myself on KK I was taken in by the b*llsh*t Russian Bride pictures. I was. I admit it. What turned me off of the diet was the research I did which revealed that such a low fat diet was almost a dead solid perfect road to gall bladder problems. Then, I realized that it was a starvation diet.

My friends are a small sampling of the legion which continues to support the KK death site. They don't even care that she's a lying slob who preys on people. I can't even say negative things about her in our little email group. I have been warned!

I actually respect these women I am blogging about. I like them, but I cannot understand the cult-like adulation that these people have for a scum bag.

God bless you all ye anti-kk bloggers. Here's a list of them. Scroll down past them to see the rest of my article. 2BIG4MYSIZE on blogger 2BIG4MYSIZE ON VOX 3fatchicks All about Kimkins antikimkins bamagal becky/littlebit’s blog Cathy low carb transformations
Christin/Kimkins covergirl Cleochatra Deni desertthorn Diary of a Mad Housewife Doggygirl’s Dog House Drivethruonly fear and lothing in the kitchen Grill Cheese with Pickles HoneyBee2
HoneyBee’s Blog HoneyBee’s Blog info on kimkins information for transitioning to healthy eating
Itscloudyinhere’s Weblog jerseyshore Jimmy Moore Julia Harvey katOD KIMKIN DIET links Kimkin Survivors kimkindangers kimkins affiliates message Kimkins And Other Affiliate arketing Nightmares Kimkins class action lawsuit Kimkins Controversy-Kimkins Scam Kimkins Diet review Kimkins disaster Kimkins Exhausted Kimkins Exposed kimkins on shopping enabler
Kimkins Scam kimkins scam KIMKINS UNSAFE KIMKINS wikizine Kimkins” Diet Fraud nmasked Kimkins: Dying to Lose! kimkinscircus kimkinsnightmares Kimmer Libre Kimmers reen braclette kimorexia KKatastrophe KTLA 1 KTLA 2 KTLA 3 KTLA 4 livinlocarb Mamma’s don’t let your baby’s do kimkins Mariasol Medusa Morgan MacLeoid NO KIMKINS one fit mom
princess dieter Regandy review of Kimkins diet robin scam.com size8jeans kimkins expose slamboard The Art of Toad Swallowing the PI the truth Vickie’sVoice willa woofy ZIMBIO

Cheers to all of you who write tirelessly to agencies and government offices telling them to shut down the site.

The place is a cult gathering place. Dangedest thing I have ever seen. I am sickened by those who KNOW this woman is a big fat fake and yet still patronize her site.

Why ARE people still hanging on to KK?

-1-They are freaking brainwashed. Skimmer has attacked and taken captive a very vulnerable section of people...people who will do anything not to be fat any more. That's just plain evil. It never ends!

-2-They don't care enough about their own health to research the subject and find out that they are screwing with their own body...big time. (They probably also didn't read the fine print on those sub-prime loans with adjustable rates which have now adjusted and caused said parties a heck of a lot of financial trouble.)

-3-They subscribe to some 1963 ideology that if it's in writing it has to be true. "They" would not let "them" say those things if it wasn't safe! (Who the h*ll is they and them?)

Those are my reasons...anyone else got an idea?

My parting thought is it is like 2Big said, "Battling Kimkins is like fighting a forest fire."

Focused, Action Oriented People ("FAOP")

2008-01-17T17:17:00.000-08:00

Today I met two interesting people. Both are focused and action oriented people. For the purpose of this entry we'll just say they were both "FAOPs" One was a gentleman about 38 years old. The other, also a man, was 27...if you can call 27 being a man. Heck that's just one year older than my son!

Mr. 38 was about 6'8" and had played professional football. Once he got his belly full of that he invested in real estate. Mr. 27 was his partner.

These two individuals are both very wealthy, very focused, very polite, yet demanding. They know what they want and they go after it. I happened on them during a brief encounter wherein they were purchasing a small ($25 Million) hotel in a resort area in Texas.

Something tells me that they knew the power of dreaming and visualizing their desires early on. I can also tell that they knew how to crystalize their dreams into visual images which drove them to where they wanted to go. I suspect that once they knew the direction they wanted to take (toward their imagery) they were action oriented and took steps to make their dreams come to fruition.

The difference between a FAOP and a regular Joe is that Joe might dream a little bit, but Joe argues with his desires and finds every excuse in the world why things won't go well for him A FAOP dreams, makes a list of action items and gets started on succeeding, unwilling to listen to excuses or reasons why something won't work. When they reach a dead end a FAOP will simply cut their own road to their destination.

I've been a Joe most of my life. I have been held back by my Negative Nancy thinking, I have been crippled by ignoring my ability to dream and create my own destiny. I have put all that aside and now I am on of the FAOPs.

It's great to be a focused, action oriented person. (Hear me talking to myself?) Sure, I still have the negative garbage in my head but when it starts talking to me, I just talk back. When I hear:

It's useless to try to lose weight. You are too old. You're post-menopausal...you are toast, over the hill, forget it sister!

I say back to the negative thoughts: I can do anything I want to do badly enough! Even if I was over the proverbial hill I could still move a mountain or two!

Messrs. 38 and 27 were an inspiration to me today. Had I been in my "Joe" mode I might have perceived them as a couple of stuck-up snots. But having engaged myself fully into a positive, powerful woman who had a weight and health problem and took steps to resolve it I know that I have the power to do whatever I want badly enough and I looked at them as subjects to study. I studied their politeness rather than their "demanding" behavior. They weren't rude in any way. They just pushed for what they wanted and how they wanted it to happen and they got it. When they left my presence they both thanked me profusely for my time, even though it wasn't necessary. I wasn't dazzled by their attentions (though I would suggest that many women might be taken in by their charms), I was captivated by their proven success and examined them as specimens of success; I took note of their words, their behaviors and mannerisms of being polite and dignifying a worker bee's efforts by gentlemanly behavior.

Lessons learned today from proven experts on success:
-Expect things to work out the way you want them to.
-Getting your way can be achieved through firm, polite, consistent behavior; being an ass is not required.
-Ask for input from experts when you need it.
-Don't fret over minutia.

Signing off from this segment of the World of Willa.

Willa Smith

I'll still be a year older...might as well be better

2008-01-17T03:48:00.000-08:00

I have finally learned not to say "what's the use?" and to stop mourning how late in life I am getting started on doing things which I wanted when I was younger...which my husband's death interrupted...which "life" pushed me away from.

It doesn't matter where I am in life in age, if I push against the tide of ease and work to improve myself, next year at this time I will be more satisfied with the state of my affairs than I would if I just bumped along going where the wind blows.

This is kind of a stream of consciousness but important to me because I need to "dream" about improvement again in the upcoming year. This is a reflection on last year and a precursor to writing up a fabulous dream about next year.

2007 came and went with good progress. I am uh "stoked" friends! I am empowered by my ability to change. Middle age has hit and I am more energetic and optimistic than I have been in my entire life. I can do this!

25 more pounds off by May:
I set a goal to lose a total of 70 pounds in 2007. I am almost there. I have about 25 more to lose. May is the magic month to finish that up. There's a party I want to look good for so that's the dream I will harness to get me there.

Get rid of the storage unit:
I have a goal to discontinue having a storage unit this year and pocket that $50 a month. Will do. Let's say I will finish that task by May. Started the action list on that yesterday.

Improved Salary and Business Reputation:
-Once I reach my weight goals I want to re-do my wardrobe to become more polished and business-like. Yesterday I bought a great pin-stripe suit on clearance for a total of $36.00 (!) which will take me into the spring along with another navy blue and green suit I purchased to take on the cruise which will do likewise. I will get out my sewing machine and take up the slacks of both as they get too large. I expect that to happen by late February. (Now that I am closer to my goal, sizes decrease faster!)

-Another goal I had was to never arrive at work later than 30 minutes before the day started. Such effort and attitude garnered me $7,000 in bonuses last year. Seriously. The man who hired me in September of '06 (when I was at 206 and in 18Ws/20Ws) sees a middle-aged employee who may be a little bit slow on the uptake but who will work all the extra hours necessary to get the job done. I was ill on the clock exactly 2.5 hours. I missed three days when my daddy died, but it's likely that my extra arrival times gave back my employer every missed hour plus some over the past year. My weight loss has also proven that I am a "can do" person who can achieve goals and make changes for improvement.

More friends:
Another goal was to become active in a church. Check, done. I go to church every Sunday including Sunday School where I have made good friends and have a wonderful support system. My son will be taking a job with Exxon when he finishes his grad degree. I have no family in this area and only lived here in this town to get him through college. He is leaving. I'm staying.

More gratitude in my attitude:
Another goal was to say "thank you" to the many people who have helped me become a better me. Waking up each day and thinking about who has helped me along this path gives me a great outlook. It's humbling...it's inspiring.

I will take these goals, improve the focus of them and add a few to my list.

Gotta hit that hot shower right now. Can't be late to work!

Love and gratitude from Willa in Texas to every person who pauses to read this blog!

Dream and be thin...

2008-01-16T17:17:00.000-08:00

I know people think I am crazy for saying that you can dream your way to being thin.

However, I challenge anyone who desires to make a significant change in their life to make a real, daily, long-lasting effort at dreaming of what you desire and see if it doesn't have some positive influence on your life.

How to do it.

Here is the short version:

Determine to spend ten to thirty minutes for each and every day for a span of 60 days with "thin" in your mind.

Here is the longer version:

Sit down in front of your computer at the same time every day and open a document you can type paragraphs into. I prefer MS Word, but there is a free word processing program located at StarOffice.

Type the date. Aw heck, I'll just show you how to do it.

January 15, 2008
I'm just waking up and it's time to face the day. Before my feet hit the floor I like to consider what I'll be wearing to work. I am going to choose the black linen suit today. It The jacket has three quarter length sleeves and the pants zip on the side. The zipper slides up effortlessly when I put it on.

Underneath the jacket I will wear a raw silk creamy pink sleeveless scoop neck top. It zips on the side. I feel pleased because my arms look nice before I put on the jacket. I can see the slacks and matching jacket both have tags in them which say "Talbot's" and beneath that is a little red number six. I'll put on a pair of pantihose which are fresh out of the wrapper. Hanes. Size A. I see the size written on the package. The hose are black. I feel extremely happy because I know these will glide on with little or no effort. I am so empowered by the feeling of control over my body. I have made healthy choices minute by minute, hour by hour to create the new me.

I will wear my favorite leather black pumps. The ones that show "toe cleavage".

My hair is in a shorter, stylish cut. Now that I am thin my face it angular and any style looks good on me.

I don't feel my age, I feel energetic and younger. I can't wait to get up and get dressed. Today will be a wonderful day!

Being thin makes me feel empowered, it makes me tingle with energy. It gives me a feeling of "everything I want is possible."

=======

Another day I might dream about wearing shorts for the first time in years. Another day I might dream about doing things that I normally wouldn't because the effort was just too much with all the extra weight. Another dream might be about being involved in an athletic activity.

Don't laugh at this dreaming technique until you've done it with a full-hearted effort for 60 days. You will find yourself seeking ways to do little things to change your health and weight.

Beware. Once you begin to dream you will find yourself pushing your own limits to reach the goals you desire!

A parting thought. If you are overweight, you might have lost your dreams in the folds of your XXXL wardrobe...depression might have robbed you of your willingness to dream. Whatever the case, take back the power of dreaming about what you desire. A dream costs nothing. If you can make yourself dream of the change you desire you will slowly build the kind of mental muscles you need to redesign your eating. Making time to dream will not come easily...but if you can make yourself into a dreamer by changing the habit of being a non-dreamer into being a dreamer you are exercising the mental muscles which will create willpower and better decision making.

Try it...for 60 days...write it, think it...love the feelings you enjoy while you are dreaming and then slowly create methods to change into what you dream about.

Oh yeah...one more thing...have a lot of love for yourself while you dream...don't put yourself down, build yourself up and cheer yourself on.

Take good care of yourself in your dreams...pretty soon you'll start living the love...and things will change for you.

Let my words be low carb treats, not sweets

2008-01-16T04:46:00.000-08:00

Lord, today, let my words be like low carb treats which make me healthy and move me toward my goal. Let them not be like the sugary-sweet, fake, unhealthy, over-processed trash which makes my body less than it should be.

I pray this because I often have to eat my words...I prefer them to be healthy for my mind, soul, and body if they need to be taken in a second time.

Amen.

Kimmer Annoys Me

2008-01-16T03:53:00.000-08:00

So what else is new? Heidi Diaz, aka "Kimmer" did something that flies in the face of my theory that if you put your mind on something long enough pretty soon your thoughts will motivate you to that goal. Every day for years she was sitting at her computer typing up instructions to people about how to be thinner while she herself wasn't moved at all by her words.

Since I truly believe that what one dwells on mentally results in changed behavior and motivation to seek the images held in one's mind, her (Kimmer's) behavior and what it manifested makes me believe that her goal was never to be thin or to help others be thin but to make money, large money, at any cost.

Aside from her big lie and her big scam on people (which is plenty to be annoyed with her for!), I am mad because she wrote about being thin and succeeding at eating a certain way to be thin while apparently munching on any and everything that didn't munch on her first. How dual-minded is that?

So, among her many transgressions which pointedly ruined the health of others I find her dual-minded behavior one of the many among dispicable behaviors which pricks me personally.

If my theory on visioning and dreaming until you reach your reality is correct, her reality makes me believe that she never had her heart and mind in the right place while she wrote and tutored and cajoled, criticized and, cough, cough, ahem, "encouraged" others to eat to achieve thinness. I believe what a person thinks is what they ultimately achieved...and so to me, I see a crafty, mean woman who just wanted to lift money from desperate people at any cost to them.

Clearly, this woman focused her mind on succeeding at something and it wasn't weight loss. It was focused on scamming people who had weight problems. And, for this morning that's all I am going to say about it because my personal dreaming and driving to a goal doesn't have time for that poop head's behavior.

I don't have a passion for the demise of Scamkins. I want to see her and her scams gone from the internet but my passion is to reach my own goals. So, I salute you, anti-kimmer bloggers! I am thankful for those who have more mental energy than I to write tirelessly to remove this dual-minded, spiteful woman's presence from the internet but I don't think about it with the passion that they do. My passion is to encourage first myself to achieve my weight-loss goals, then by proving my point, to encourage others.

So, though I don't blog about KK or Kimmer daily, just be aware that I despise the way this woman has used her gift of mind focus to prey upon others and I'm only going to mention it on occasion. Her downfall will not move me away from my path...a path to health, but God bless those of you who can both focus on your own goals and removing her from the 'net.

It's time to hit the shower and get ready for another successful day wherein I will change my own destiny by knowing what I seek and moving forward to it...an inch at a time. Baby steps will get me there.

Have a good day everyone. Willa Smith reporting from Texas.

PS: If you want to read more about the lies of Scammer, please visit the following blogs:

3 Fat Chicks: Anatomy of a Diet Scam
About.com Inside Kimkins
Anti-Kimkins
Kimkins Controversy
Kimkins Dangers
Kimkins Exposed
Kimkins Sucks
Kimkins Survivors
Kimorexia
KKatastrophe - KimPossible's Blog
Livin' La Vida Low-Carb
Low Carb Discussion
Pretty Paula's Journey
Slamboard - Kimkins Diet
The Final Escape - EtheralKim's Blog
The Journey - Christin's Blog
The Open Bench - Deni's Blog
Winning Weight Loss - Becky's Blog

Back From the Cruise

2008-01-15T03:24:00.000-08:00

I am posting a picture of me and my daughter-in-law, here. My son took this picture on our second night on the trip.

So, while on this wonderful trip of culinary delights how did I do on on my low carb lifestyle? I did pretty good. Only gained one pound which is probably more fluid retention than anything.

I did have a few cheats on the days when we were off the boat in Tulum looking at the Mayan ruins and while we were on shore in Belize. While it would have probably been fine to eat meaty foods in those ports I didn't feel comfortable with it and opted one day to select a piece of pound cake and a cookie; another day I chose to eat nachos. I also drank a few apple martinis (not all at one time!).

But, here's the thing...I found that I desired to continue low carb eating and working on my goals more than I desired to eat sweets. The last night I went to dinner alone by choice. I had vegetable broth and greens because that was the only thing that appealed to me.

It's all in what you WANT for your life. I want a healthy body...a body that allows me to walk for miles without huffing and puffing--which I did on my cruise. I want to feel youthful, to have skin on my legs which isn't dry and cracking from daily sugar overload. I want to be able to tie my shoes without effort, to clean my house without having to take numerous breaks. I want to feel good about myself.

I want to feel in control of my choices and not to be driven by addiction to a momentary pleasure derived from tasting something sweet, or starchy. I want to comfort myself rather than to be comforted by foods.

It felt wonderful to come back to my desk at the office with a little bit of a tan, and not feeling a "too snug" feeling around my waist, or a too-full feeling in my hands and feet puffed up by intake of too much toxic sugar.

I looked in the mirror when I came home and loved what I saw. Each day I look a little more like that "vision" I captured for myself back in February 2007.

Life is what you make it. When I began my low carb journey I had a pretty bleak outlook on things. Since I have captured the menace of food overload I have gained energy, vitality, and a will to live a fuller life than I had. I'm doing it.

50 pounds gone, friends. I want to lose 20 more. I will. Mid-May is my next goal post. My son will graduate from the university he attends with a master's degree in May. (I never finished my under grad degree so this is huge for me!) I look forward to the vision I have when I greet our guests for the after-party. I will be two sizes smaller from my current size 12 status. I will have slightly longer hair...streaks of gray I embrace rather than cover up. I will have a slight tan and glow with health, and I will be almost 50 years old and more vibrant than I have ever been in my life. And, more than anything I will know the lesson I have taught my son by example on that special day. It's never too late to realize personal goals, to improve yourself, to find ways to enjoy life more fully. He'll never forget that on that special day two years earlier his mother nearly waddled up to her seat at his wedding but realizing the error of her ways she corrected it and chose life. If I can do that with so little to work with, he'll know he can do anything he chooses with so much to work with and so many opportunities that his education has opened up for him.

(Here is a picture of that boy I am so proud of.)

Now, I realize that this might sound like it is all about me, but it is not. Early on my son expressed his concern about my weight and whether or not I'd be around and feel like being a good grandmother to his children. He dredded taking care of a fat, depressed, aging parent. Realizing that my penchant for ice cream and cake was killing me and killing his hope for part of the happiness of his own future was another reason for me to care about my own life and goals.

Refusal to embrace weight loss and healthy body maintenance can overshadow the lives of our children. Refusal to take control of our own destinies can be a burden to those we love.

Grab a vision and make it happen...even while crusing the Caribbean. Nothing, nothing, nothing tastes as good as successfully re-creating a thinner life feels. Nothing!

Pausing to Thank You

2008-01-15T03:15:00.000-08:00

Thanks to those of you who read this blog.

I appreciate every comment posted on it. (If there is an email where I can write the comment-maker back, I do.) Many thanks again.

Dream a little thin dream of me....

2008-01-04T11:15:00.000-08:00

There's no way I can pretend this all happened by diet alone.

I had to get my mind right. Saying "I need to lose weight." told myself exactly that--that I was fat. And, fat I remained as long as I took that attitude.

The Bible says that the tongue has the power of life and death. (Proverbs 18:21) It wasn't until I harnessed the power of my tongue that I became fertile for the change enabled through weight loss.

I started a private journal many months ago where I wrote descriptive paragraphs about how my appearance was changing. As I wrote, I put my mind into the experience of feeling slim, looking slim and the sense of well-being I would gain by making a transformation. (Shucks, I tried to post a picture of a page, but it turned out all blurry.)

I wrote about how if I could lose weight, I could do anything.

I wrote about wearing a size six, wearing a certain type of top to go with a certain type of pants.

I wrote about walking long ways with my dog and feeling the power of change.

I wrote about being successful at my endeavors. I did it daily.

I prayed while I wrote and I wrote while I prayed to God to give me the wisdom and strength of the power of a positive tongue and words.

The more I wrote, the more my subconscious mind took over and I was empowered to eat less, seek support through forums and to find healthy solutions to change my life.

That was last February (2/07). I joined an email support group of individuals who also needed to lose. My journaling and dreaming slipped off as I began to write some of these things to them. My last entry into my journal is in October of 2007. By that time I had a powerful momentum built up and was full steam ahead in positive thinking, positive writing and posting images of myself. And, then there was this blog where I began to share things I thought would (1) help others and (2) continue to enhance my own experience.

Through it all there were two keys:
-Constant thinking about success and
-Positive imaging through words of how I would look at the end of my journey.

If reducing your weight has not been a successful endeavor for you, I would encourage you to stop thinking about dieting and start thinking about how you will look when you are thin.

Experience it through taking time to dream and express what successful weight loss will mean to you.

So far I have lost a solid fifty pounds. Possibly more. Once I instilled an image in my mind of where I was going, there was no stopping me. It took several months of weight reduction behaviors to see results in my clothing size and in the mirror. I am short and the weight loss was very slow.

Somewhere around the ninth month I began to see the success I had desired. I never stopped my thinking, healthy choosing and knowing that soon enough the difference would unfold.

If you can't get yourself into eating less or eating better right now, start dreaming...dream and dream and dream about being slim, healthy and energetic.

Tell yourself "I am going to be so healthy next year at this time. I am getting healthier by the day."

Say, "I will wear white shorts with a red top that shows my arms--they look great! I will have tanned legs, I will have bright red toenail polish on my toenails and enjoy wearing a size eight."

Feel it, feel it, it while you are writing.

Say, "I am so empowered by using my words to reach the success I wholeheartedly desire." (And feel it. Say it out loud.)

Say, "If I can lose weight, I can do anything I want to do." (And feel it.)

Dreaming is a process that you develop. If you are overweight, your dreams may have all gotten lost in the Zinger wrappers and ice cream cartons tossed in the garbage. Mine did. Make new dreams and write them down.

Do it daily. Protect your journaling and dreaming time. Soak it up. Follow the subtle hints of your mind when you dream. You'll find yourself rejecting improper food mentally...act on it. Reject it. Let your dreams send you to purchase an Atkins book, or to join Weight Watchers. Let your dreams motivate you to purchase exercise memberships...or just a pair of good shoes to walk in every day.

I'm dreaming a dream right now...that these words will empower you to be who you want to be.

Write, write and dream, dream. Feel the feelings of a thinner you...until you are on your way.

Doncha wish...

2007-12-29T08:52:00.001-08:00

your girlfriend was a phreak - like - me....hm...hmmm....hmmm....doncha...ta...ta..ta..taaa...

Oh! Hi there. You caught me singing my theme song in my low carb battle to good health, wealth, beauty and power. Well, maybe not the three latter, but certainly the first: Health.

I have more energy and Jack LaLanne-type vitality than I have ever had. Okay, again I've lied...I am no Jack LaLanne but I plan to be when I am a little older and fitter.

Yesiree, I'll be over forty years old in September...didn't say HOW old, just that I'll be over forty. DON'T ever settle on obesity because you think you are too old to lose weight. This morning I talked at length to my sister about losing weight. She's getting geared up for doing it in the New Year. Here's my thoughts on it...even if obesity doesn't steal some years off your life it will surely steal some of the joy.

Who do you think is happier, the gal in black (18W), the gal in white (Size 16), or in blue (Size 14/16), or in the brown size 12 pants and blue flip-flops?

It can be done on Atkins, high fat intake, and plenty of protein, cottage cheese and veggies.

Forget the Magic Chicken Dance, er, Diet...forget the high-priced Kimmer Scam and buy an Atkins book. I got mine from Half-Priced Books here in Little City, Texas.

Eat healthy, cut out ALL the sugar, ALL the starches and eat like you love yourself. Plenty of protein, fat and low sugar/starch veggies. Get your carbs from carrot sticks, cottage cheese and other healthy foods that will not immediately turn into blood sugar.

In a year you'll be singing..."Doncha wish your girlfriend was a phreak like ME???" No, folks, I'm no phreak...just a happy post-menopausal gal with lots of energy, hope, and a week-long cruise next week.

Though the cruise came after the decision to lose weight...I think the singing woman in the blue flip-flops will have a lot more fun than the heavier ones pictured above.

Ketosis on, Garth!

For an eye-opener on the scam diets that will ruin your health, start here:

http://yustyucky.wordpress.com

http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/0/292/ripoff0292941.htm

http://www.3fatchicks.com/Diets/Diet_Articles/Kimkins:_Anatomy_of_a_Diet_Scam/

http://the-journey-on.blogspot.com/

Cream Cheese and Cherry Sweet Treat

2007-12-29T08:28:00.000-08:00

Take two ounces of cream cheese and heat them up in the microwave for 15 seconds. Add a couple of drops of Almond Extract and lots of Equal; mix it up really good. Now, grab a sugar-free jello cup in Cherry flavor and dump it in. Mix well. 200 calories. Oh, so delightful.

No Title...just a quick thought

2007-10-23T18:39:00.000-07:00

My life has been a rocky one in the last ten years, but I believe with all my heart that things are looking up more this year than they have for a long time. I have a lot of peace in my life, a lot of serenity and I care about things more than I have in a long time.

My husband, Gary, killed himself in 1999 the Sunday after Thanksgiving. His decision to do that has impacted my life profoundly. It takes many years to get past that kind of loss. There were other situations which were very disturbing and sad to me which happened almost simultaneously with my loss of Gary. I have been depressed a lot and I have kept to myself more than I like to admit. The good news is that the last few months I have begun to feel lonely and to desire finding people to really become good friends with again. I didn’t feel that way for so many years. I felt numb. I was in a new place when Gary died and then I chose to move to yet another new place because I couldn’t stay there and I couldn’t go home.

It was good to fade away from the thick of things. It was good to have my privacy because I was such a wreck. It was hard to be so isolated but it was a better solution than to be such a broken up mess of a woman in front of people I grew up around. In a larger town I could be heal without people feeling sorry for me. I had no idea it would take me so long to heal.

I am blogging tonight because I have felt a terrific pressure to get some of this off of my mind lately. So, perhaps as the holiday season approaches and I am reminded of a distant Sunday night after Thanksiving God’s gentle Spirit is pressing me to be release the last of the remnants of my loss.

I will never grow to my full potential until I am free to completely leave that era and move forward.

I hope it doesn't take me forty years...

2007-10-20T12:32:00.000-07:00

Recently I've been spending time reviewing what the Bible says about the Holy Spirit starting in the Old Testament. I will share with you my thoughts on how that's become an inspiration to me with my own struggle with messiness and clutter.

(Context is, as I understand it, that God and Moses are on Mount Sinai and He is speaking to Moses about the construction of the Tabernacle, as well as in regard to Oholiab whom God has chosen to help Moses.)

Exodus 31:3 - "and I have filled him with the Spirit of
God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts..."

Repeated again in Exodus 31:6 - "Moreover, I have appointed Oholiab son
of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan, to help him. Also I have given skill to all
the craftsmen to make everything I have commanded you..."

Exodus
35:31-32 - "...and he has filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability
and knowledge in all kinds of crafts --to cut and set stones, to work in wood
and to engage in all kinds of artistic craftsmanship, to make artistic designs
for work in gold, silver and bronze.

Exodus 35:35
He has filled them
with skill to do all kinds of work as craftsmen, designers, embroiderers in
blue, purple and scarlet yarn and fine linen, and weavers -- all of them master
craftsmen and designers.

So, the Bible tells us that these people were transformed into artisans in order to fulfill God's plan. I get a mental image of all these worn out, gripey people, feet hurting, no place to take a bath... wandering around in the desert, certainly not wanting to concentrate on anything except getting the heck out of there and God says, "Hey, Moses...I have a little project for your group."

How despondent and depressed that must have made Moses! These people had been making bricks from straw and mud for years. That was the extent of their talent...at this point they were really down and out; their circumstances were precarious at best...and now this?

As usual...God's response was:

"I will supply every bit of skill you need. Before we even get started you guys are going to be transformed into fine designers, master craftsmen and people of very fine taste.

My Spirit is FILLING YOU with every necessary talent. When I want a job done...all you need to do is show up. I'll take care of the rest."

As a struggling to recover cluttery-messy person, it seems almost hopeless that I'll ever reach a place outside of our personal deserts of chaotic crap where my space and stuff is under control...well...it does if I view it with human understanding.

But, when I revisit the power and ability of the Holy Spirit to transform people, I have faith and I am renewed with a sense that The Holy Spirit is ready, willing, and able to transform me into a woman of order and beauty. The very evidence of that renewal is my awareness that the Holy Spirit has begun to transform me by changing my outlook into one of optimism and possibility through the work of the Holy Spirit.

If the Holy Spirit filled those guys out in the desert with craftsmanship and artistic ability right down to the blue and purple cloth details, I know He is willing and able to fill me with all I need to have order, peace and beauty in my life.

All I need to do is to show up and be there welcoming the Holy Spirit's indwelling in me. He will take it from there.
--------------

I have now lost about 44 pounds. I give the credit for my transformation (and continued transformation with weight loss) to my faith in God and His desire and willingness to see me happy, healthy and full of a sense of personal accomplishment. No doubt the Holy Spirit has been with me without me really putting much of a priority on encouraging that relationship during this time. Now that I have my head on straight about drawing closer to our Lord's Holy Spirit, I look forward to the blessings of wisdom, peace and health far greater than before.

List of Every Verse Where the Bible Mentions "Spirit"**

2007-10-19T22:39:00.000-07:00

**Note: Some of the verses in the list will not be relative to the HOLY Spirit, but contains reference to a different spiritual being. For information on how I generated this list, scroll to the bottom of the reference list of verses where I will explain my source.
__________________________________________________
Recently, I have become very interested in the character of the Holy Spirit and a deeper relationship with Him. It only seemed sensible that the first place to start was to get a mental picture of what exactly the Bible has to say about the Holy Spirit. So, I created a list and have been going verse by verse (I've made it through 2 Samuel, so far) to try and characterize the traits of the Holy Spirit in each particular verse or circumstance.

It's important to note that Genesis 1:2 tells us that The Spirit was there right from the beginning...hovering over the shapeless world protectively, being a part of the process of creation. My personal conclusion is that the world and its tangible existence came from The Spirit, or by a process devised by Divine spirtual beings a.k.a., The Holy Trinity. It stands to reason that since man came from a spiritual beginning, our flesh and blood human existence craves to have a relationship with The Spirit.

This is the path I am traveling this month, and if there are any places I find inspiring enough to blog about, I'll be posting. Without further editorializing I shall now move along and present the list. (Don't forget to check out the source of my references at the bottom of this blog entry--it's free.)

Gen 1:2
Gen 6:3
Gen 41:38
Gen 45:27
Ex 31:3
Ex 35:31
Num 11:17
Num 11:25
Num 11:26
Num 11:29
Num 14:24
Num 24:2
Num 27:18
Dt 2:30
Dt 34:9
Jud 3:10
Jud 6:34
Jud 9:23
Jud 11:29
Jud 13:25
Jud 14:6
Jud 14:19
Jud 15:14
1Sam 10:6
1Sam 10:10
1Sam 11:6
1Sam 16:13
1Sam 16:14
1Sam 16:15
1Sam 16:16
1Sam 16:23
1Sam 18:1
1Sam 18:10
1Sam 19:9
1Sam 19:20
1Sam 19:23
1Sam 28:8
1Sam 28:13
1Sam 30:6
2Sam 13:39
2Sam 23:2
1Ki 18:12
1Ki 22:21
1Ki 22:22
1Ki 22:23
1Ki 22:24
2Ki 2:9
2Ki 2:15
2Ki 2:16
2Ki 5:26
2Ki 19:7
1Chr 5:26
1Chr 12:18
1Chr 28:12
2Chr 15:1
2Chr 18:20
2Chr 18:21
2Chr 18:22
2Chr 18:23
2Chr 20:14
2Chr 24:20
Neh 9:20
Neh 9:30
Job 4:15
Job 6:4
Job 7:11
Job 10:12
Job 17:1
Job 26:4
Job 31:39
Job 32:8
Job 32:18
Job 33:4
Job 34:14
Ps 31:5
Ps 32:2
Ps 34:18
Ps 51:10
Ps 51:11
Ps 51:12
Ps 51:17
Ps 73:21
Ps 76:12
Ps 77:3
Ps 77:6
Ps 104:30
Ps 106:33
Ps 139:7
Ps 142:3
Ps 143:4
Ps 143:7
Ps 143:10
Ps 146:4
Prov 15:4
Prov 15:13
Prov 16:18
Prov 16:19
Prov 17:22
Prov 18:14
Prov 20:27
Prov 25:13
Prov 29:23
Eccl 3:21
Eccl 7:9
Eccl 12:7
Isa 4:4
Isa 11:2
Isa 19:14
Isa 26:9
Isa 28:6
Isa 29:24
Isa 30:1
Isa 31:3
Isa 32:15
Isa 34:16
Isa 37:7
Isa 38:16
Isa 42:1
Isa 44:3
Isa 48:16
Isa 54:6
Isa 57:15
Isa 57:16
Isa 59:21
Isa 61:1
Isa 61:3
Isa 63:10
Isa 63:11
Isa 63:14
Isa 65:14
Isa 66:2
Jer 51:1
Lam 1:16
Ezek 1:12
Ezek 1:20
Ezek 1:21
Ezek 2:2
Ezek 3:12
Ezek 3:14
Ezek 3:24
Ezek 8:3
Ezek 10:17
Ezek 11:1
Ezek 11:5
Ezek 11:19
Ezek 11:24
Ezek 13:3
Ezek 18:31
Ezek 21:7
Ezek 36:26
Ezek 36:27
Ezek 37:1
Ezek 37:14
Ezek 39:29
Ezek 43:5
Dan 4:8
Dan 4:9
Dan 4:18
Dan 5:11
Dan 5:14
Dan 7:15
Hos 4:12
Hos 5:4
Joel 2:28
Joel 2:29
Mic 2:7
Mic 3:8
Hag 1:14
Hag 2:5
Zech 4:6
Zech 6:8
Zech 7:12
Zech 12:1
Zech 12:10
Zech 13:2
Mal 2:15
Mal 2:16
Mt 1:18
Mt 1:20
Mt 3:11
Mt 3:16
Mt 4:1
Mt 5:3
Mt 10:20
Mt 12:18
Mt 12:28
Mt 12:31
Mt 12:32
Mt 12:43
Mt 22:43
Mt 26:41
Mt 27:50
Mt 28:19
Mk 1:8
Mk 1:10
Mk 1:12
Mk 1:23
Mk 1:26
Mk 2:8
Mk 3:29
Mk 3:30
Mk 5:2
Mk 5:8
Mk 7:25
Mk 9:17
Mk 9:18
Mk 9:20
Mk 9:25
Mk 9:26
Mk 12:36
Mk 13:11
Mk 14:38
Lk 1:15
Lk 1:17
Lk 1:35
Lk 1:41
Lk 1:47
Lk 1:67
Lk 1:80
Lk 2:25
Lk 2:26
Lk 2:27
Lk 3:16
Lk 3:22
Lk 4:1
Lk 4:14
Lk 4:18
Lk 4:33
Lk 8:29
Lk 8:55
Lk 9:39
Lk 9:42
Lk 10:21
Lk 11:13
Lk 11:24
Lk 12:10
Lk 12:12
Lk 13:11
Lk 23:46
Jn 1:32
Jn 1:33
Jn 3:5
Jn 3:6
Jn 3:8
Jn 3:34
Jn 4:23
Jn 4:24
Jn 6:63
Jn 7:39
Jn 11:33
Jn 13:21
Jn 14:17
Jn 14:26
Jn 15:26
Jn 16:13
Jn 16:15
Jn 19:30
Jn 20:22
Acts 1:2
Acts 1:5
Acts 1:8
Acts 1:16
Acts 2:4
Acts 2:17
Acts 2:18
Acts 2:33
Acts 2:38
Acts 4:8
Acts 4:25
Acts 4:31
Acts 5:3
Acts 5:9
Acts 5:32
Acts 6:3
Acts 6:5
Acts 6:10
Acts 7:51
Acts 7:55
Acts 7:59
Acts 8:15
Acts 8:16
Acts 8:17
Acts 8:18
Acts 8:19
Acts 8:29
Acts 8:39
Acts 9:17
Acts 9:31
Acts 10:19
Acts 10:38
Acts 10:44
Acts 10:45
Acts 10:47
Acts 11:12
Acts 11:15
Acts 11:16
Acts 11:24
Acts 11:28
Acts 13:2
Acts 13:4
Acts 13:9
Acts 13:52
Acts 15:8
Acts 15:28
Acts 16:6
Acts 16:7
Acts 16:16
Acts 16:18
Acts 19:2
Acts 19:6
Acts 19:15
Acts 19:16
Acts 20:22
Acts 20:23
Acts 20:28
Acts 21:4
Acts 21:11
Acts 23:9
Acts 28:25
Rom 1:4
Rom 2:29
Rom 5:5
Rom 7:6
Rom 8:2
Rom 8:4
Rom 8:5
Rom 8:6
Rom 8:9
Rom 8:10
Rom 8:11
Rom 8:13
Rom 8:14
Rom 8:15
Rom 8:16
Rom 8:23
Rom 8:26
Rom 8:27
Rom 9:1
Rom 11:8
Rom 14:17
Rom 15:5
Rom 15:13
Rom 15:16
Rom 15:19
Rom 15:30
1Cor 2:10
1Cor 2:11
1Cor 2:12
1Cor 2:13
1Cor 2:14
1Cor 3:16
1Cor 4:21
1Cor 5:3
1Cor 5:4
1Cor 5:5
1Cor 6:11
1Cor 6:17
1Cor 6:19
1Cor 7:34
1Cor 7:40
1Cor 12:3
1Cor 12:4
1Cor 12:7
1Cor 12:8
1Cor 12:9
1Cor 12:11
1Cor 12:13
1Cor 14:2
1Cor 14:14
1Cor 14:15
1Cor 14:16
1Cor 15:45
1Cor 16:18
2Cor 1:22
2Cor 3:3
2Cor 3:6
2Cor 3:8
2Cor 3:17
2Cor 3:18
2Cor 4:13
2Cor 5:5
2Cor 6:6
2Cor 7:1
2Cor 7:13
2Cor 11:4
2Cor 12:18
2Cor 13:14
Gal 3:2
Gal 3:3
Gal 3:5
Gal 3:14
Gal 4:6
Gal 4:29
Gal 5:5
Gal 5:16
Gal 5:17
Gal 5:18
Gal 5:22
Gal 5:25
Gal 6:8
Gal 6:18
Eph 1:13
Eph 1:17
Eph 2:2
Eph 2:18
Eph 2:22
Eph 3:5
Eph 3:16
Eph 4:3
Eph 4:4
Eph 4:30
Eph 5:18
Eph 6:17
Eph 6:18
Phil 1:19
Phil 1:27
Phil 2:1
Phil 2:2
Phil 3:3
Phil 4:23
Col 1:8
Col 2:5
1Th 1:5
1Th 1:6
1Th 4:8
1Th 5:23
2Th 2:13
1Tim 3:16
1Tim 4:1
2Tim 1:7
2Tim 1:14
2Tim 4:22
Ti 3:5
Phile 1:25
Heb 2:4
Heb 3:7
Heb 4:12
Heb 6:4
Heb 9:8
Heb 9:14
Heb 10:15
Heb 10:29
Jas 2:26
Jas 4:5
1Pet 1:2
1Pet 1:11
1Pet 1:12
1Pet 3:4
1Pet 3:18
1Pet 4:6
1Pet 4:14
2Pet 1:21
1Jn 3:24
1Jn 4:1
1Jn 4:2
1Jn 4:3
1Jn 4:6
1Jn 4:13
1Jn 5:6
1Jn 5:8
Jude 1:19
Jude 1:20
Rev 1:10
Rev 2:7
Rev 2:11
Rev 2:17
Rev 2:29
Rev 3:6
Rev 3:13
Rev 3:22
Rev 4:2
Rev 14:13
Rev 17:3
Rev 18:2
Rev 19:10
Rev 21:10
Rev 22:17

By using my Bible software, Theophilos I was able to quickly use the "Finder" tool to locate all instances of the word "spirit". You can download it for free here, but the catch is that the free version only comes with the KJV Bible. I have actually purchased the Theophilus Library CD. I bought it several years ago for $79.95 so that I could get the NIV Bible (my favorite) with it. I think it is a little less expensive for the deluxe model now.

2007-10-07T15:55:00.000-07:00

I love bacon sandwiches. I just got through fixing myself several hunks of lettuce, slices of crispy bacon and mayo. It was good stuff.

Probably no weight lost this week but I am still on the downward slope. My mind is right to keep on keepin' on. Crazy...I've been craving broccoli with soy sauce and I am just trying not to eat too much of it (steamed, of course) so that I don't get stomach problems.

My friend/neighbor is at 232 and she's starting WWatchers today. She's gained 20 pounds while I have been losing. She said that today she realized that if she didn't get a grip TODAY that her next stop was 250. I told her consider herself already down by 18 pounds and to just start cheering herself on from that.

I also told her that I went six weeks at a time without weight loss at this point but that my method of staying the course was to remember that to choose to do nothing or to eat the "old" way and all you wanted from the wrong things would be to choose to NOT move away from unhappiness. To become happy just stay the course no matter what...never, never, never give in. The wrong foods didn't bring the desired results...change is imperative and necessary to achieve the desired results. To me it's all in how much I DON'T want to be unhappy with myself.

Changing anything takes a lot of thought control and a beginning in your mind followed by the actions which will develop the desired situation. I'm determined in this journey. I'm not going to stop even if it takes me another year to lose the next 20 pounds.

I eat healthy low carb. I don't starve myself. I don't feel deprived and I am able to stay on this diet day in and day out. It's become my nature...every day I move forward with the healthy way of eating is a day I am healthy longer...in which I get closer to my goal.

This is the problem with the Kimscam diet...I am talking about the diet discussed on the site http://kimkinsexposed.wordpress.com, the supposed quick weight loss is the big prize...and if you follow that diet along the way you lose your health and you cheat yourself out of learning persistance and perseverance....and while you are losing your health you are reinforcing that "quick fix" mentality with a diet that won't keep you healthy forever...and in fact, you might do serious damage to your heart.

6:00 a.m. to 6:30 a.m.

2007-09-27T03:43:00.000-07:00

It's the best time of my day, it's the heart of my morning time. I get up at 5:00 a.m., let the dogs out, feed them, fix my breakfast, drink my cup of "Foglifter" by Millstone (which is better than Starbucks in my opinion), catch the national news on Fox, and I read my email and tune into websites I am interested in. By 6:00 a.m. I am officially awake.

From 6:00 a.m. to 6:30 a.m. is the time I spend contemplating the greatness of Almighty God. Currently, in my morning meditations I am reading through the Psalms. I just read a chapter or two aloud and let the words penetrate my mind as I learn of the lows the writer experienced, then the joy proclaimed due to God's willingness to answer prayer. The writer fights enemies of a different type while I fight my disease of obesity. I need to lose another 25 pounds or so, but previous to this writing I have dropped 41. My current enemy is fat.

There's plenty of fuel for a fat fighting woman throughout the Psalms. I find it energizing to read them aloud and while I read I consider my war against obesity. The more I read there, the more I realized I find strength and focus to continue my change journey:

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
(Psalm 84:5)

As a woman dedicated to losing weight I pray the words of these chapters and I read this aloud and I hear:

Blessed are those whose strength in over coming obesity is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage...which is sometimes very
difficult, but I know that my hope and strength is in you and I know
I am blessed by you in this task.

To me, the words of the Psalms are powerful, prayerful words which assure my victory in this war against obesity. I read throughout the book on how the writer was low and through his prayers he received real assurance of answered prayer.

Teach me your way, O Lord
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart
that I may fear your name.
(Psalm 86:11)

And, as I read this my heart interprets

Teach me your way, O Lord and I will walk in your truth; Teach me the way you want me to do this, O Lord, and if you teach me your way I will walk in your truth and not fall into false teachings or unhealthy practices. I will focus on you first and through knowledge of you I will become educated about all things affecting me and I will receive your wisdom on how I need to proceed in all things, including weight loss.

give me an undivided heart that I may fear your name. Let me remember that my first priority is to give my heart completely over to you so that I may know your greatness, and through knowing your greatness first hand, I will know that all other things will fall into place naturally.

And, at 6:30 a.m., I have been reassured once again that God is a strength and power which I have available to me to win my war against obesity. I have been reassured it is okay to be discouraged and that the antidote to discouragement is to turn to God and read aloud the powerful words of the Psalms which speak of human discouragement, super-natural victory over the enemy, cool waters, solace for an impatient soul, God-given strength and having a focus on what's important.

Well, it's 6:34 a.m., and a wonderful day that I might enter into with Almighty God at my side.

Read his word aloud in your private time. His words spoken through your voice has a powerful effect on your mental outlook. It makes it real.

For the Lord is a sun and a shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.

O Lord Almighty,
blessed is the man
who trusts in you.
(Psalm 84:11-12)

And, praise God! Today I am favored and honored and God holds nothing good back from me. I am blessed.

Have a blessed day.

Love, Willa

I Feel Good

2007-09-27T03:41:00.000-07:00

I've got my coffee made this morning and I am thrilled to greet 165 on the scales. I'm going for the "gold" and I know I can make it. If I don't do anything different, if I keep on doing what I am doing for another year I will be "petite" and I'll be a size 8. Since last November I have lost 41 lbs. I'll probably only be at 160 this November, but that's 46 pounds in a year, and right at one pound a week lost for my efforts.

Some days it is difficult when I stall for six weeks at a time but I consider my options: Eat carb crazy and blow back up to my original size? Or eat sensibly with my low carb WOE and slowly evolve into my desired outcome?

This is the most weight I have lost since I gave birth. Many people never achieve this kind of percentage of weight loss, much less in their late forties. I feel proud of myself for that and I'll push on...I can do this. I can!

It's only Wednesday?

2007-09-26T16:58:00.000-07:00

Man, it's been a long week already. And, I'm tired. But a really wonderful thing happened at the office today. One of the women stopped me and said, "You have truly crossed over!" She went on to say how good I was doing on my diet and how that now I am around 40 pounds down it's really showing in my face. I had kind of been hard on myself today when I looked in the mirror...was having trouble seeing as much progress as I wanted to. But her little remark really picked me up and really made me see that my face DOES look much different. It's "chiseling" out a little...the roundness is leaving at long last.

I'd like to go fix a creamy low carb treat for myself and that would be at least 200 calories, but with the encouragement I received today, I think I'll just go take a shower, brush my teeth and settle in for sleep early.

This battle of weight loss is won with small battles against the small snack or treat. I feel victorious tonight so I believe I'll just head 'em on in while I am on top of my game. I'll opt for a few tiny dill pickles and call it a day.

Kimmer's Words Are Potent

2007-09-25T03:51:00.000-07:00

What has amazed me about the Kimmer affair is my own experience of it. I am a level-headed thinking person. I had 80 lbs. to lose (half way there, hooray!) when I started my weight loss journey. I was at around 30 lbs. down when I read Kimmer's words. I read them and took them to heart because it was what I wanted to hear and needed to hear. I gave them a lot of importance, however, I quickly realized upon further research that I didn't want all the bad side effects that come with her dangerous way of eating.

But, I thought, "Hey, it worked for this woman..." and then I dismissed it, but not really. Many days since then, even after the exposure of Kimmer on Slamboard--her pictures, I mean--I still find myself mentally fussing at myself over letting my calorie intake rise above 1,000. I still find myself avoiding water and opting for Diet Cokes because that was the Kimmer way. I still hear the words of Kimmer in my head that I don't need to exercise. Even though I know that all this is poppycock, I still heard those words of hers and internalized them because I wanted to hear what she said, and I wanted to believe it.

Kimmer's words are dangerous because they offer exactly what an obese person needs to hear and they are leading people into a dangerous way of eating which may affect their life forever.

When a person is receptive to what is being said and when they need the message badly enough they will pay for it, the words become extremely powerful. Even to the point that the words will continue to work inside their thinking when the source has been exposed as a fraud.

Kimmer is just like any cult leader who has found a target of people beat down and weakened by a condition which they desperately desire to rise above.

I have a dear friend who is eating like Kimmer recommended in her more stringent diets. She's a member of that site. She has seen the Kimmer exposure blogs, and yet she finds reason to continue to believe in Kimmer's way of eating because she has lost 30 pounds since the end of July. She needs to lose at least 100 more. I worry that her health will be destroyed and that her metabolism will shatter into nothing. The diet is working for her, but at what cost?

The song of a siren like Kimmer is potent. That's why it is important to continue to expose her unhealthy way of eating and her fraudulent weight loss through beating her on the medium she has chosen. They way to do that is to make our blogs more powerful than hers. Help stop Kimmer's poisonous infection of the internet. Set up a blog and write your thoughts. Here are two free sites to select from where you can house your very own blog for free.

Blogger.com
Wordpress.com

Set one up. Write your thoughts and let me know you have one to add to this list. I'll make sure yours also gets published in my blog. Kimkins Exposed is doing a wonderful job of publishing links to blogs as well. Be sure to visit that blog and let the author know about yours.

Kimkins Exposed
Anti-Kimkins
Becky: Winning Weight
Christin: The Journey
Deni: Open Bench
Free Kimkins Free
Jimmy Moore’s Apology
Kimkins @ Slamboard
Kimkins Controversy
Kimkins Dangers
Kimkins Sucks!
Kimkins Survivors
Kimorexia
Kkatastrophediet’s Weblog
TRUTH Starts Here
3 Fat Chicks: Anatomy of a Diet Scam
About.com Inside Kimkins
A Pinch Of…
How Jeanessa Got Scammed
How Much Body Fat Can You Really Lose In A Week?
Jersey Girl: Thoughts on Kimkins
Kimkins Circus
Kimkins Controversy Continues to Boil
Kimkins Debacle; Super Smart Diet Tips
Kimkins Experience Part 1
Kimkins Experience Part 2
Kimkins Saga Revisited
Kimkins Survivors
Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Anorexic
Tami’s Change in Game Plan
The Problem with Kimkins
Thin at Any Cost
A Running Jewel
Kimkins Circus
The Quack of Doom: Entering the circus for the first time?
Once Upon A Diet
Someone in Southern California may need an attorney soon
The Final Escape
melting mama: Kimkins Scam.
Have you ever screamed so loud that the room echoed? « Incredible Shrinking Ladies
Inside the Kimkins Controversy
A Dumbbell In A Home Gym: Kimkins: Caveat Freakin’ Emptor.
Heard of the Kimkins Diet? Steer Clear it’s a total scam!
Vickie’s Voice: …more of my story…
The Road to Clarity and Transformation: The Kimmer (Kimkins) Controversy and a Parallel Universe
Banished…oh Fo’ Shame. not.
a mother’s heart » the kimkins debacle
Vilma’s World » Kimkins on Dateline & other complaints
Because I Said So: KimKims Survivors
Hundred Day Head Start Kimkins a fraud
Healthy Low-Carb Living Blog: Kimkins - How I Feel About It Now
Back Across The Line: Kimkins Cult Mentality
Good Carbma: Words for Heidi Diaz
Living Low Carb & Lovin’ It!: What an Amazing Day This Has Been!
Borat Does Kimkins: Hello From Borat!
Medusa
Kimkins Nightmares
stepping up to the plate « 2big4mysize’s Weblog
mariasol
Kimkins Scam
Willa’s Notebook
Doggy Girl’s Weblog
All About Kimkins & More
Itscloudyinhere’s Weblog
Psychic Rations: The Slimmer Kimmer That Wasn’t
Beware: Kimkins Diet is Dangerous!!: Just Say NO
Kimkins Lies
Sparkly and (soon to be) Skinny!: A new safe haven
Stop Kimkins Now!: Stop Kimkins Now!
Kimkins Soap Opera Story - AnthaBeth’s blog
Kristine’s Low Carb Corner
Stop Kimkins Now!
HoneyBee’s Blog
Brad Johnson Says ‘Start a

Clutter and Obesity Have Similar Obstacles

2007-09-23T10:15:00.000-07:00

Obesity and chaotic clutter are both depressing states of affairs.
Obesity and cluttered spaces both come from an unwillingness to act in one's own best interest.
Excess fat on a body as well as clutter are unnecessary existences.
Obesity and clutter are unhealthy.
Both of them cause shame and guilt in the one who suffers from it.
Both of them prohibit many people from enjoying life to its fullest.
Each of them are perceived as difficult situations to control and when combined they can send the person suffering from them into a downward spiral of extreme states of both problems.

I will add more points as I think of them.

My Current Before/After Picture from Weight Loss

2007-09-22T10:35:00.001-07:00

The first picture is when I weighed 206 or maybe a few pounds more. The second picture is me at 169. I am now down three pounds from that day.

I think I musta lost a bunch of it in my neck and arms.

(See there, that's what real people look like when they are losing weight. Fake people look like they are 25 years younger and have had rhinoplasty. If I am speaking cryptically, check out the Kimmer blogs in the previous post.)

I just have to say that the stripe of blush on my cheeks in my after picture is a bit weird...I swear I don't think that looks good, nor do I believe that is the way it looked except in the picture...Lord, I hope not.

Oh my...I got off task...back to the closet cleaning I go.

Quick List - The Kimmer Files

2007-09-22T10:07:00.000-07:00

If you have a blog not listed below where you are blogging regarding Heidi Diaz aka Kimmer, please leave your blog's link in the comments and I will add it to this list.

Thanks, Willa

Kimkins Exposed
Anti-Kimkins
Becky: Winning Weight
Christin: The Journey
Deni: Open Bench
Free Kimkins Free
Jimmy Moore’s Apology
http://www.slamboard.com/category/kimkins-diet/
Kimkins Controversy
Kimkins Dangers
Kimkins Sucks!
Kimkins Survivors
Kimorexia
Kkatastrophediet’s Weblog
TRUTH Starts Here
3 Fat Chicks: Anatomy of a Diet Scam
About.com Inside Kimkins
A Pinch Of…
How Jeanessa Got Scammed
How Much Body Fat Can You Really Lose In A Week?
Jersey Girl: Thoughts on Kimkins
Kimkins Circus
Kimkins Controversy Continues to Boil
Kimkins Debacle; Super Smart Diet Tips
Kimkins Experience Part 1
Kimkins Experience Part 2
Kimkins Saga Revisited
Kimkins Survivors
Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Anorexic
Tami’s Change in Game Plan
The Problem with Kimkins
Thin at Any Cost
A Running Jewel
Kimkins Circus
The Quack of Doom: Entering the circus for the first time?
Once Upon A Diet
Someone in Southern California may need an attorney soon
The Final Escape
melting mama: Kimkins Scam.
Have you ever screamed so loud that the room echoed? « Incredible Shrinking Ladies
Inside the Kimkins Controversy
A Dumbbell In A Home Gym: Kimkins: Caveat Freakin’ Emptor.
Heard of the Kimkins Diet? Steer Clear it’s a total scam!
Vickie’s Voice: …more of my story…
The Road to Clarity and Transformation: The Kimmer (Kimkins) Controversy and a Parallel Universe
Banished…oh Fo’ Shame. not.
a mother’s heart » the kimkins debacle
Vilma’s World » Kimkins on Dateline & other complaints
Because I Said So: KimKims Survivors
Hundred Day Head Start Kimkins a fraud
Healthy Low-Carb Living Blog: Kimkins - How I Feel About It Now
Back Across The Line: Kimkins Cult Mentality
Good Carbma: Words for Heidi Diaz
Living Low Carb & Lovin’ It!: What an Amazing Day This Has Been!
Borat Does Kimkins: Hello From Borat!
Medusa
Kimkins Nightmares
Willa's Notebook

Edited to add the following on 09-23-07/7:50 a.m.
Doggy Girl’s Weblog
All About Kimkins & More
Itscloudyinhere’s Weblog
Psychic Rations: The Slimmer Kimmer That Wasn’t
Beware: Kimkins Diet is Dangerous!!: Just Say NO
Kimkins Lies
Sparkly and (soon to be) Skinny!: A new safe haven
Stop Kimkins Now!: Stop Kimkins Now!

Just Do Four - Little Baby Steps on a Big Project

2007-09-22T08:26:00.000-07:00

========
If you don't have a problem with clutter and procrastination due to depression, post-trauma stress disorder, or ADD or ADHD, OCD, or some other learning disability or impairment, count yourself hugely fortunate. I wasn't always this bad...it wasn't always this hard to control my space and what was in it...however, events happened which pulled the trigger on the problem for me....but that's another blog entry for another day. People like me are not procrastinators and seemingly messy because we don't care...we care a lot...the inability to manage like others do often separates us from the rest of the world and has us hidden away in our little cluttered world where we are too embarrassed to invite others in...we are people who are painfully aware of our shortcomings in the arena of all things sorted, organized and clutter-free. So, if you aren't like me in this regard, you might want to skip this one...it will sound so elementary you'll think I am a four-year old picking up her toys.
========

So, the bedroom hasn't been touched yet because I am procrastinating. (I blogged about an hour ago how I was a-gonna go in there and kick some clutter-ass.)

I am, as usual, overwhelmed. However, the good news is that I am not so heavy that I feel tired by the prospect. I am a confirmed believer that being overweight and living in a cluttered state is a self-perpetuating cycle and that they feed upon each other to the detriment of their host person.

Today is a good day to celebrate my 40 pound weight loss by taking clutter into hand and giving it a swift kick out the door. So here's the plan of attack. It's the way I trick myself into unloading the dishwasher when I don't really want to...I use the method I mentally refer to as...

Just Do Four

Four things, I tell myself. When the dishwasher needs to be unloaded and I don't like the prospect of doing it because I am interested in something else, I tell myself "Just put away four cups and then you can quit." But, in my ADD way of operating, once my hands get busy unloading, first thing you know, I am half-way through the whole task of unloading the dishwasher. Getting started is always my problem. Okay...now, it is the bedroom which needs attention...lots of attention...so, how can I "Just Do Four" in my bedroom?

I have a bedroom closet to attack. So, let's start there. The shoes are piled up and totally disorganized. Now, I think I'll just go pick out four pair and pull them out of the closet in order to pair them up...and if all goes right, I will have all of my shoes paired up before I realize what's going on. I'll report back in fifteen minutes if it's not working and much later if it is. Okay, it's 10:45 a.m. now...I'll check in in a bit.

11:10 a.m. - And, that worked well. I even got the vacuum out and vacuumed the closet floor. (Patting myself on the back.) The next job is to place all my seldom worn shoes into a box...the kind that comes with a case of letter-sized copy paper in it; it has a lid. Once those are in there I will put a date of March 2008 on the box, mark it on my calendar and when March 1, 2008 rolls around, whatever shoes are still in that box since September 22, 2007 will be going to permanently visit Mr. Thrift Store.

Once the box is filled, I will neatly organize my shoes on the floor of my closet. Okay. I'm back on it. (This is me...walking back to my bedroom closet project.)

----The Next Day----

My "just do four" exercise got me off to a great start. Got the floor of the closet de-cluttered. I actually got the vacuum cleaner inside the closet and put the carpet into good order. I even wiped down the baseboards of the closet while I was within reaching distance. My shoes are neatly lined up and I feel good about the progress.

After I finished the floor of the closet, I went through my hanging clothes and pulled out the items which don't fit any longer due to my weight loss. I folded them neatly and put them on the shelf overhead to get them out of my range of vision when I am getting ready for work in the mornings. Gosh, I can actually find what I need now.

I decluttered a good bit in my bedroom on my shelves and drawers after completing the closet, and then finished out the day by steamcleaning the bedroom carpet. Today is the day I will tackle the bathrooms. I am so pleased with the bedroom results that I am motivated to get started again.

De-cluttering is so good for the soul!

Company is Coming!

2007-09-22T06:57:00.000-07:00

Holy low carb guacamole! Red alert! What strikes fear into the heart of a fat clutter bug?

That simple phrase: "Company is coming!" Oh gracious...when I was at 206 pounds that would have frazzled me out of my mind. However, having lost 40 pounds over the past ten months has given me a sense of greater control and confidence. And, I am not nearly as lazy about doing things without having to carry around the equivalent of four ten pound bags of potatos, or eight five pound bags of sugar.

At 166 pounds I can do all I need to do and still have energy to get to church in the morning, iron clothes and grocery shop for low carb food to keep me steady on more weight loss...until I reach a petite 130ish pad around my small frame.

Enough about me...now let's talk about me. Next weekend there will be guests at my house. Since I don't usually feel like doing much during the week after work I wanted to get the heavy stuff done this weekend.

I cleaned my living room and kitchen like a banshee last night. Looks nice enough...everything's all shiny. I'll just need to keep up with it and run the broom and dusting cloth Friday morning.

Oh, but Lordy, my goodness. They'll be sleeping in my bedroom...and that means they'll be using the master bathroom...and that means if I don't make a concentrated effort to put things right in there...without a doubt they will question my sanity and their safety.

If there's anything interesting to report about this day's challenge I will drag my laptop into my bedroom and during the sorting of the massive shoe pile and the demolition and overhaul of the contents of the shelves in my cave I will report in.

This could be a really painful day's activities...two bathrooms and a bedroom to go...but I can do this. Referring back to a previous entry about my usual mode of operation, last year when I was not working on my fat problem, when the going got tough on de-cluttering and housecleaning, this little dumpling was going to the kitchen for Blue Bell Ice Cream scooped generously on a pair of Vanilla Zingers.

Hmmm...before I tackle that chore, I think I need to put on my makeup and get dressed. Somehow...just like ancient warriors put on facepaint and breastplates to attack the enemy and conquer, I find that an underwire bra, Lancome Mascara and bright red lipstick always empower me and gives me an edge on the "enemy" be it clutter or avoiding fat-making behavior.

Okay...no more writing for awhile.

Just do it.

Low Carb Lifestyle vs. Disasterous Low Calorie, Low Fat and Low Carb Dieting ("Kimmer" the Scammer's Way)

2007-09-22T06:16:00.001-07:00

When I took up the low carb lifestyle*, I found two forums look to for knowledge and support.

Low Carb Friends
Active Low Carber Forums

Just prior to that I had been encouraged by a friend to join a site for $59.95 which boasted huge weight loss in short time using a low calorie, low fat and low carbohydrate approach. Desperate to learn all I could about losing weight I visited the site and saw a beautiful, young-looking woman in a red dress who proclaimed herself to be "Kimmer" and that she had created this diet, oh and (!) that she was around my age (late forties) and further, that she had lost 198 pounds in 11 months. The woman looked like a million dollars.

Okay, I know I should have known better, but I bit the hook, paid the fee and joined the site. I found the site to be a bit too jumbled, a bit to "rah, rah, praise Kimmer" and extremely controlled by admins and moderators.

Now, let's go back up to the two links above. I began to educate myself on the dangers of a low carb, low cal and low fat diet and realized that not only was this a prescription for poor health, but now that I had my eyes opened I realized that this "Kimmer" had to be a fake. And, guess what folks...Kimmer is a fake. She's a morbidly obese woman in California who has scammed me and 39,999 others, according to her reports of the number of members on her website.

There's a ton of blogs exposing this scammer named Kimmer all over the 'net. Take a look at these sites before you join any site that has the word "Kimmer" in it. Because I don't want to give her any more press than absolutely necessary, I am not going to mention the name of her site or link to it. However, to get the full story about her, go visit the sites listed below...which were lifted with permission from a blogger named, "Ducky".

Kimkins Exposed
Anti-Kimkins
Becky: Winning Weight
Christin: The Journey
Deni: Open Bench
Free Kimkins Free
Jimmy Moore’s Apology
http://www.slamboard.com/category/kimkins-diet/
Kimkins Controversy
Kimkins Dangers
Kimkins Sucks!
Kimkins Survivors
Kimorexia
Kkatastrophediet’s Weblog
TRUTH Starts Here
3 Fat Chicks: Anatomy of a Diet Scam
About.com Inside Kimkins
A Pinch Of…
How Jeanessa Got Scammed
How Much Body Fat Can You Really Lose In A Week?
Jersey Girl: Thoughts on Kimkins
Kimkins Circus
Kimkins Controversy Continues to Boil
Kimkins Debacle; Super Smart Diet Tips
Kimkins Experience Part 1
Kimkins Experience Part 2
Kimkins Saga Revisited
Kimkins Survivors
Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Anorexic
Tami’s Change in Game Plan
The Problem with Kimkins
Thin at Any Cost
A Running Jewel
Kimkins Circus
The Quack of Doom: Entering the circus for the first time?
Once Upon A Diet
Someone in Southern California may need an attorney soon
The Final Escape
melting mama: Kimkins Scam.
Have you ever screamed so loud that the room echoed? « Incredible Shrinking Ladies
Inside the Kimkins Controversy
A Dumbbell In A Home Gym: Kimkins: Caveat Freakin’ Emptor.
Heard of the Kimkins Diet? Steer Clear it’s a total scam!
Vickie’s Voice: …more of my story…
The Road to Clarity and Transformation: The Kimmer (Kimkins) Controversy and a Parallel Universe
Banished…oh Fo’ Shame. not.
a mother’s heart » the kimkins debacle
Vilma’s World » Kimkins on Dateline & other complaints
Because I Said So: KimKims Survivors
Hundred Day Head Start Kimkins a fraud
Healthy Low-Carb Living Blog: Kimkins - How I Feel About It Now
Back Across The Line: Kimkins Cult Mentality
Good Carbma: Words for Heidi Diaz
Living Low Carb & Lovin’ It!: What an Amazing Day This Has Been!
Borat Does Kimkins: Hello From Borat!
Medusa
Kimkins Nightmares
Willa's Notebook

Edited to add the following on 9-23-07 / 7:48 a.m. CST
Doggy Girl’s Weblog
All About Kimkins & More
Itscloudyinhere’s Weblog
Psychic Rations: The Slimmer Kimmer That Wasn’t
Beware: Kimkins Diet is Dangerous!!: Just Say NO
Kimkins Lies
Sparkly and (soon to be) Skinny!: A new safe haven
Stop Kimkins Now!: Stop Kimkins Now!

I am so against this woman, her site, and her diet (which is medically dangerous, IMH Opinion and that of the rest of the thinking population) that I will comment on my blog on occasion about her. I feel she needs to be stopped from this. I have friends who have engaged her way of weightloss and I pray they stay healthy...but the good part is that they don't do her diet all the way...they feel deprived and cheat, thank goodness...cheating may save their health.

==========
*(Notice I say "lifestyle" and not "diet". It has become a way of life for me and I feel good, I am not hungry and I am losing weight. To learn more about the low carb lifestyle as a solution to weight loss, visit the two forums above. Basically, the low carb diet is cheese, meat, fats, green veggies. You leave off fruit, any form of starch and any form of sugar. You don't get hungry (at least I didn't) because you don't have blood sugar spikes all the time, as I understand it. Also, do a search on "ketosis diet" to learn more about how your body will burn fat rather than sugar and simple carbohydrates when following a low carb lifestyle.)

I know my enemies' names. Meet Fat and Clutter.

2007-09-22T05:44:00.000-07:00

I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll do a lot of blogging about the things I fight the most these days. Fat and clutter.

Fat and clutter created a viscious cycle for me. The fatter I got, the lazier I got, the lazier I got, the more I gave into clutter. The more clutter there was the more I went to the freezer for a bowl of ice cream to distract myself from the pain of seeing the clutter (and to avoid doing something about it), and the more I visited the freezer and sought solace in a bowl of Blue Bell Ice Cream the fatter I got and the lazier I got the more I let clutter pile up...which, you might guess, sent me back to the freezer for another bowl of Blue Bell Ice Cream which made me fatter...lazier...clutter piling up...and on and on ad nauseum.

Fat
I am 5'1" tall. Last year at this time I weighed a solid 206 pounds. In other words, I was short and morbidly obese. In November, I began a lower calorie diet (which did NOT include Blue Bell) and I dropped to 192. From January (at 192) to June I lost another six pounds which brought me to 186. At that point I stalled on my weight loss and decided to switch over to a low carb diet. I began to follow the Atkins way of eating. Low carbing has brought me to the point I am at now, which is 166 pounds as of this morning. Forty pounds gone and a tremendous amount of energy returned, as well as a renewed sense of being in control of my life.

Being fat contributed to my lazy streak. It came on me so gradually that I did not realize how diabolical the extra weight was to my mental wellbeing, my physical wellbeing or my relationships.

I get into this more later and in more detail, but the bottom line and point I want to make about fat in this entry is that being fat exacerbated my inability to control clutter in my life. Until I took charge of the fat problem, clutter was winning the war.

Clutter
I don't know why clutter is such a huge problem to me. It engulfs me and makes me feel anxiety--my goodness, what if someone came over and saw this pile--no, strike that-- what if they saw the piles of crap in my house?

You see, when clutter is out of control for me, my home looks like a psycho lives in it. Trying to fight it entangles me in arguments with myself--can I throw this out? Will I need it? Get rid of it! No! You can't. (And, the fat me thinking: Decisions, decisions! I can't do this! This is too stressful. I should have a bowl of Blue Bell...maybe even run down to the convenience store and pick up a package of Vanilla Zingers to go with it. That will take me away from this clutter mess for awhile...after I am done with my ice cream I'll tackle it again. [Only, that never happens because I am too depressed that I ate all that sugar, my blood sugar crashes and I feel terrible so I watch television and surf the internet until something else catches my fancy...clutter wins...Willa loses.])

That's enough for now about Fat and Clutter. Have no fear that these will be favorite subjects for me in the future.

The First Entry

2007-09-22T05:30:00.000-07:00

First I decide to start blogging. Next, I have to choose a name for the blog. (Okay, I'm calling it Willa's Notebook--short and simple, but broad enough to cover any subject I decide to blog about.) Already fifteen minutes has gone by and now I am struggling over what to call the first entry.

Having wrestled with such mental minutia all of my life I recognize it for what it is (perfectionism) and just settle on calling it "The First Entry". Uncompelling, but a "perfect" name for a first entry in a blog...can't go wrong with that one. I'll go with it and not get bogged down.

Wow. It's done. My first entry is here and I am on my way.